The New Eve Fertility Method for Getting Pregnant After a Miscarriage or Stillbirth.

bridget-osho

What a pleasure it is to welcome Bridget Osho, who has just released her new book, The New Eve Fertility Method for Getting Pregnant After a Miscarriage or Stillbirth. Bridget is more than a writer, she’s a woman with a mission to help other women overcome the difficulties facing them after pregnancy loss. For any woman who has undergone this traumatic experience, this book, and perhaps the institute she founded in the UK, Cherie Mamma, may be a wonderful new direction to consider. Welcome Bridget!

Interviewer: Debbie A. McClure

**********

Q: What is the Cherie Mamma Institute?

A: The Cherie Mamma Institute is an organization designed to help women heal from pregnancy loss so that they can conceive healthy babies. We do this by helping them create healing lifestyles and regain their natural feminine balance, usually disrupted by pregnancy loss.

The primary mission of the Institute is to help women who have lost pregnancies grow healthy and happy families. Part of our mission also includes research into the understanding and prevention of pregnancy loss and bringing the topic into the public domain so that it stops being a taboo subject.

Q: When you lost a pregnancy at seven months gestation, that event changed your life on many levels. What would you say has been the most profound lesson you’ve learned in your journey so far?

A: My pregnancy loss led to me to seek a deeper meaning to my life, my calling, and the calling of every woman. I have learned so many life lessons on this journey, but I think that the most profound lesson I have learned is that every woman is called to achieve her emotional, mental, and physical potential. Once she does this, she can be happy and fulfilled.

I believe that it is not just that women can have it all, it is that women need to have it all, and many fertility problems would be prevented if women achieved optimal physical, mental, and emotional well-being. We cannot give what we do not have. Out of the fullness of potential we can become mums, grow our families, and make an impact in the world. That is why it is so important that women who have lost their pregnancies are given the support they need to heal and become the best versions of themselves.

Q: What unexpected lessons have you learned from the women you’ve helped?

A: I have learned that it is not enough to know what to do to help them, you also have to know how to help in a way that empowers them. Many women who have been trying to conceive or lost pregnancies would do anything to have their healthy babies, but after trying different solutions for so long with little success, they can start to lose faith in themselves, which translates to loss of faith in other solutions.

It is an unconscious way of protecting themselves from false hope. In order to help them—and this applies to everybody who needs any form of transformation, such as weight loss, career growth, etc.—one needs to help them believe in themselves again. People need to believe that what they want can still happen for them and they cannot give up. It is about empowering them with hope.

Q: When you wrote your latest book, The New Eve Fertility Method, what were you hoping to accomplish that the Institute couldn’t or hadn’t?

A: I am well aware that not every woman who needs to heal from pregnancy loss will be able to get direct support through the Institute. Through the book, more women will get to know that they can truly heal from pregnancy loss and grow their families.

Q: Could you explain what a rainbow and an angel baby are?

A: An angel baby is what some people call babies who have been lost during pregnancy. They are believed to be little angels in heaven. Some people go as far as to see them as their little guardian angels who are alive, well, and happy. It is a great source of comfort to families who have lost pregnancies if they believe in life after death. I know this helped me a lot when I lost my pregnancy. It still does.

A rainbow baby is what some people call babies conceived after a pregnancy loss and who was born alive and healthy. It denotes the rainbow after a storm in the same way we see rainbows in the sky during/after the rain.

Q: What is the difference between the method you outline in the book and other methods women may have tried?

A: There are two major differences between the New Eve Fertility Method and many other methods.

The first is the emphasis on the totality of what goes into making a woman herself. Too often other fertility methods and approaches focus mainly on the woman’s body. The New Eve Fertility Method is based on the principle that when a woman loses a pregnancy, it is her whole world that has been affected; from her mind, to her emotions, to her body, her relationships, and even her work. This method focuses on helping her to pick up the pieces in all these aspects of her life so that she can truly heal.

The second difference that sets The New Eve Fertility Method apart is the emphasis on trying to heal naturally. Our bodies are naturally designed to conceive and give birth to healthy babies. It is when our natural balance is compromised that fertility becomes a struggle. For many women, this imbalance can be corrected naturally, and even when medical solutions are needed, a natural approach can make them even more effective.

Q: Writing a non-fiction book is quite an undertaking. What have you learned about the processes of non-fiction writing and publishing that you didn’t know before?

A: There is a lot more to writing a book than having ideas! For one, you need to make sure that you can guide a reader from little or no knowledge on the topic to being very knowledgeable. It means you need to be able to put yourself in the shoes of your reader.

Another thing is that you cannot do it on your own, you need at least another pair of eyes to read your work and you also need to have an effective marketing plan, otherwise your book will not get into the hands of the people who really need it.

Q: What do you estimate is the success/failure rate for women who come to you and the Institute for help?

A: It is difficult to look at my work in terms of rates, since women who approach us have different needs. Some women need to heal physically, e.g. improve their menstrual cycles. Some women need the emotional support to help them heal from pregnancy loss. While we support women to conceive healthy babies, our primary focus is to help them heal emotionally, physically, and mentally from pregnancy loss.

To this end, we have had women whose menstrual cycles have resumed after months of no periods, women who have conceived and delivered healthy babies, and women who feel that they have been given a new lease of life and hope.

Q: What would you say is the biggest misconception many women and health care providers believe about fertility and conception that is not true?

A: I think the biggest misconception that women and health care providers have is ignoring the influence of lifestyle in conception efforts. I have found that there is a large dependency on medications and/or supplements and not enough on wholesome diets, stress management, mental healing, and so on. I believe this is the reason so many women struggle with little success to conceive.

Q: Have you encountered any push-back from the medical community, or are they supportive of your efforts to help educate women regarding fertility and conception?

A: I have not experienced any push-back from the medical community. I am not expecting to, since my work does not replace their work. If anything, our work complements theirs. Most women who need medical solutions will benefit from the support the Institute gives in terms of stress management, natural diets, and exercises, among other things. I have had the support of a few doctors who understand what I am doing and know that women benefit from it.

Q: In your book you address fear and guilt. In your opinion, how prevalent are these feelings in women who have not been able to successfully carry a pregnancy to term? Is it a reflection of societal or personal issues?

A: Fear and guilt are very prevalent in women who have experienced pregnancy loss. There is the fear that they might never carry a baby to term and never have a baby. There is also the guilt that something they did or didn’t do contributed to the loss of their baby, since they were their baby’s primary caregivers.

In my opinion, the fear and guilt that many women after pregnancy loss experience is largely a reflection of their understanding that as a mother they feel responsible for their children. That is not a bad thing. Every mum feels this way. Most women would feel guilty if their children had an accident at home, even if it was clearly not their fault. The problem arises when the woman is not able to move on from that guilt and recognize that these problems are not their fault.

I think society can help women with this. The fact that women find it hard to talk about pregnancy loss exacerbates the fear and guilt. They can come to believe that something is really wrong with them and they just might be bad mums.

Q: What’s next for you, Bridget?

A: Simply to reach out to more women who can benefit from the New Eve Therapy Method. I am working on collaborating with more people to spread the message to every woman who has lost her pregnancy and let her know that she can still create the family she wants. I hope to do so by guest-posting, interviews like this one, seminars, and joint venture programs.

You can contact/reach Bridget at the following links:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/cheriemamma

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/the-cherie-mamma-institute

Website: www.cheriemamma.org

Twitter: @cheriemamma

Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/153974096X/

 

 

 

A Conversation With Sunil Godse

Sunil two book logo (1)

Two years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Canadian writer and extremely successful business consultant Sunil Godse at the launch for his first book, Fail Fast, Succeed Faster. Sunil has long counselled others about the importance of accepting, and even embracing failure and gut intuition. He claims we are so busy touting the goal of success that we forget about the values and lessons learned through failure and our ability to tap into our intuition as a method of sound decision-making and growth. With his new book, Gut, available now, Sunil travels the globe talking to groups about his books and what he’s learned about these two vital aspects of life. Welcome Sunil!

Interviewed by Debbie A. McClure

******

Q         What is the premise behind Fail Fast, Succeed Faster?

A         The premise is very simple. By learning from the failures of others, or even better, by being prepared to overcome your own hurdles, you should be able to reach success much faster in whatever you do.

Q         In preparation for this book, you interviewed many people, including some very prestigious business men and women. What is the thing that surprised you the most about the disclosures, and why?

A         What surprised me the most was how quick these prestigious interviewees were in giving me an interview despite their very busy and hectic schedules. On top of that, they were so eager to share their negative experiences. This was so surprising because I thought that they would have been afraid to reveal some of the weaker moments in their personal and professional lives, some which led to drastic financial losses and in one case, a bankruptcy. I am so pleased that this was not the case.

Q         What life lesson has been the most difficult for you to learn, and why?

A         The hardest life lesson for me is in prying myself away from the professional arena to spend more personal time with my family. It sounds like a cliché, but what I have learned over the years is that when you are doing what you love, then there is no such thing as a work/life balance. What I need to learn is to make sure I swing the pendulum a bit in the direction of having quality time with my family; given all of the projects I seem to dip my fingers into. It is a constant battle for me, as I need to trade off doing what I love professionally for loving moments with my family. What I have realised in the past few years is that what remains for a long time after you are gone are memories of times together with friends and family, not the accomplishments you achieve as life passes you by.

Q         Why did you want to write a book about failure?

A         I have made a career of helping people and businesses overcome their failures. I am also very aware of the incredible statistic that over 90% of small businesses fail within the first two years, which is ridiculously high in my opinion. People want to run a business for various reasons, but don’t always understand what it takes to run an actual business. For example, someone may love cooking and know how to cook exquisite and tasty meals, but running a restaurant business means that one needs to think about things such as financing, pricing, food wastage percentage, marketing, presentation, logistics, staffing, wastage, and many other issues not related to the actual cooking of the food. Without this knowledge, or having partners who have this knowledge, the business faces a steep uphill battle from the moment the doors open for customers. I know this first hand, as I ran a Mexican restaurant with other shareholders for over two years without knowing anything about cooking tacos. This is because I ran the restaurant as a business and left the cooking to chefs and sous chefs. As a result, the business was profitable from the first day we opened.

Specifically writing a book about failure came about as I saw a real need to educate those looking to get into business. With blogs, articles, and some research articles here and there, it became clear there was no single reference to outline some of the common mistakes entrepreneurs and business people make along the way. So, like a good business idea, I found a problem that people were willing to pay me to solve! That is how Fail Fast. Succeed Faster. was conceived.

Q         In your second book, Gut, you address the issues of trusting your instincts, or “your gut”. Can you give us an example of when you either did or didn’t trust your instinct that resulted in a life-changing outcome?

A         Launching my consulting career was solely based on intuition. Despite graduating with an engineering degree, my intuition “told me” to leverage my degree and help companies find operational efficiencies. I approached one company and told them that they only needed to compensate me if I found annual savings. So, if I found nothing, I made nothing.

In three months, I found $90,000 in savings and this was my first successful consulting paycheque. This changed my life and propelled me to start my entrepreneurial career running a restaurant, a wholesale clothing company, a retail clothing company, and a Mexican restaurant. This experience also gave me the opportunity to consult for other companies.

In addition, I regularly use my intuition when it comes to solving problems for my clients. With some time needed to educate myself on the circumstances that led to the problem, I usually know what the solution is. The rest of the time is implementing the solution to the problem.

For example, there was a company that was in trouble despite having a very strong business model. After some investigation, my intuition was to regain the trust of the employees, which they had not had from current management, and utilize basic policies and procedures to help sustain the growth of the business model. These, combined with the regained trust, allowed me to help grow the company from $300,000 to $2.5million in 2 years. These consulting wins are also life-changing, as they lead to other larger consulting opportunities which I may not have been able to reach.

Q         What has surprised you the most during your writing journey thus far, and why?

A         What has really surprised me is that I continually meet people who, after they read my book, attend one of my speaking engagements, or meet me, openly share their stories of learning from failure,  trusting, or not trusting their intuition. Everyone has a story to share, which I find absolutely fascinating.

A recent example is when I was in Stockholm talking to a crowd of over 200 people at a conference about intuition. A woman approached me after my talk and told me that her intuition spoke to her in a dream, telling her that her husband was planning to leave her. She had absolutely no clue that this was happening. After making a few phone calls, she discovered that her husband was in fact surreptitiously trying to sever his relationship with her and their children. She quickly began protecting her assets, which she said was “in the millions of dollars”. She specifically told me that had she ignored her intuition, she would be penniless and homeless today. I was stunned to hear this.

Q         You already operate a very successful business consulting firm, Radical Solutions Group. Why take on the myriad challenges of writing a book?

A         Being a serial entrepreneur and business consultant, I have been surprised by the lack of knowledge in the entrepreneurial process and the sheer dedication needed in taking a seed of an idea and turning it into a viable business. As mentioned before, something needed to be done to help educate those looking to start a business regarding the potential hurdles they might face right from the start.

With this thought in mind, I went through my rolodex to begin the process of interviewing people of interest. The rest is history, so they say!

Q         Where do you see the opportunities for people to tap into their intuition and utilize it more successfully in their personal and business lives?

A         People really need to take a step back from their extremely busy lives and take the time and opportunity to discover how to trust their intuition more efficiently. Put very simply, they need to listen to their intuition and take the steps to overcome the hurdles that curtail their intuitive abilities. Having clients overcome these intuitive hurdles is something I have been doing regularly for both my coaching and consulting clients with great success.

Q         Do you have a few strategies to share with our readers for moving beyond failure and into success?

A         The first thing people need to do is to redefine failure. Failure is an end state. I suggest people call the failures what they are; mistakes. They can then change their focus to find out what hurdles were encountered when making those mistakes. Finally, they can use their intuition to overcome those hurdles, or avoid them completely the next time they get in that same situation. If they can do these steps, success is a few short steps away.

Q         What do your family and friends think about your new writing and public speaking career?

A         My family fully supports the decision, as they see the passion I have for this new-found career. They have also seen the successful results from those who have used my services. Many of their friends and colleagues have heard of the book or my media appearances and have wished me luck through my family members. My family often tell me how proud they feel when they talk about me or my accomplishments. That really puts icing on the cake for me!

Q         Could you explain why you chose to self-publish rather than traditionally publish your books?

A         I had spoken to a lot of people about the book writing business before I even started thinking of putting a book together using the same process as any business venture I might get into. In the end, the book and the other aspects of publishing a book, such as conference organization and speaking engagements, had to have a good return on investment. Given the economic realities of the publishing industry and knowing how I wanted to market the book and my speaking opportunities, the control had to be on my side. This meant that self-publishing was the best route for me to go.

Q         What’s next for you Sunil?

A         I am continuing to speak, run conferences, and coach both personal and professional clients. I am also mentoring a number of entrepreneurs and have a wonderful family who keep me sane. This means I’m extremely busy, but I am so fortunate to be doing what I want and love to do.

Learn more and connect with Sunil Godse here:

Twitter: @sunilgodse
Facebook: www.facebook.com/SunilGodseAuthor

LinkedIn: ca.linkedin.com/in/sunilgodse

New website!: www.sunilgodse.com

Radical Solutions Group Inc.: www.radicalsolutionsgroup.com

Godless

Jeff_Rasley

Stretch your limits and shake up your boundaries! No one does this more or better than writer, philanthropist, mountaineer, husband, and father than Jeff Rasley. Having written and published his eighth non-fiction book, Godless, Jeff goes deep into the discussion of humanity, and what it means to be a believer and non-believer of any religious or political doctrine. As a man who has travelled the world, trekked mountains, and swam with whales, Jeff encourages us to examine our lives and where we’re going. It’s a pleasure to interview this intrepid spirit and share some of his thoughts to the questions posed. Welcome Jeff!

Interviewer: Debbie McClure

***********

Q     How did your early life as a child, then as a lawyer, prepare you to undertake life-altering global and spiritual explorations?

A   My family encouraged curiosity and intellectual exploration and that has been as aspect of my identity since childhood. Practicing law demands rigorous questioning about facts and evidence. So, both of these influences influenced me to have open eyes and open mind to different and new ideas and spiritual growth.

Q   Who has been your greatest life coach or mentor, and why?

A   Many teachers, professors, coaches, pastors, and friends have had influence on me, and friendships developed with my Nepalese sirdars have been inspiring. But, I can’t name one as being the greatest. The constant love, forgiveness, and understanding of my parents and wife have been more important to me than anything I’ve gained from other people.

Q   What inspires and drives you?

A   I want to take good care of myself, live life as an adventure, and offer what I can to others who ask for and need my assistance. I want to enjoy life and affect the world with pragmatic philanthropy.

Q   Some would say climbing a mountain is the ultimate physical manifestation of spiritual seeking. What did you discover about yourself during your first and subsequent climbs in Nepal?

A   That I could endure a lot of pain even to the point of being barely conscious. There are moments in mountaineering when your body, mind, and will are in sync or flow, which is beautiful. When you are able to stop, look around and savour the view, it’s movingly beautiful. But, most of the time actually climbing is hard slogging, putting one foot in front of the other while trying to maintain steady breathing, and maintaining a focus on staying balanced.

Q   You’ve written eight books now, each dealing with issues of self-discovery, philanthropy, and seeking. What drives you to delve so deeply into yourself and our current societal beliefs, then write about them?

A   The admonition of Socrates, to “know thy self”, is, I think the first step on the path of seeking wisdom. We are our own interpreters of reality, so we need to be self aware of how we filter information through our subjective experience. Then, we can participate in family, community, and the world more intentionally and productively. I discovered during adolescence that it turned me on to figure out how, and then to implement, ways to improve communal relations, to help people get along better. So, I’ve tried to do that in various ways from my own local communities to international philanthropic development projects.

Q   Clearly travel plays a large role in your life, but why?

A   I grew up in a small city which didn’t have much cultural diversity. Whenever my family did a driving trip, it thrilled me. So, when I was 18 I walked to the edge of town, stuck out my thumb and hitch-hiked across the country. It was a wonderful experience of meeting people utterly unlike those I knew. And, I loved seeing different parts of the country both urban and rural areas. It lit a fire in me that still burns. (I’m leaving in a few days for another cross-country driving trip with my wife out to CA.) Every trip, whether it’s just a weekend of outback camping, cultural tour of a city, or solo-kayaking Pacific islands, is an opportunity to learn and grow, so long as it’s understood as an adventure.

Q   Can you share with us a particularly amusing or scary story about your mountain climbing?

A   How about an ocean story, instead? This is excerpted from Islands in My Dreams:

Fifteen times we approached the mother and calf when they surfaced, and then we jumped in the water and swam as fast as we could toward them. Each time they sounded before we reached the whales. The boat captain gave us one last chance as he was low on fuel and it was time for us to get back on the slower boat to be taken back to Neiafu.

The three of us dove in with fins kicking as hard and fast as we could. Anjo told us splashing bothers whales, so we kicked with our fins below the surface and didn’t stroke with our arms to minimize splashing.

The mother and calf didn’t dive this time. They swam just below the surface staying about twenty yards ahead of us. Tashio, the Japanese guy, tired from the fifteen times we had already swam after the whales, gave up the chase after about fifty yards. Kevin, the Floridian, broke off after one hundred yards. I kept kicking. After another fifty yards of pursuit, the whales stopped.

The mother let me swim up beside her, but kept her baby on her other side away from me. I swam up beside her huge eye, turned on my side and looked through my snorkel mask into her eye, which was as big as my head. She looked back at me. Our eyes locked. Time stopped. It was if we were looking into each other’s souls.

She rolled and nudged her calf with her flipper to encourage the calf to swim over to me. The baby whale swam up to me, swam under me, then circled around me, and let me caress its tail. It was surprisingly smooth to my touch. The calf returned to its mother’s side.

They began to swim off slowly. I swam with them for about one hundred yards, but then another whale-watching boat approached. The mother gave one great flick of her tail and they vanished deep into the dark water below me.

I stroked back to the speedboat and clambered up the ladder and dropped over the gunwale. I could barely stand. My legs were vibrating and shaking. Electric current (or adrenaline) was coursing through me from the thrill and power of the encounter.

For a few moments, the otherness separating the mother whale and me had vanished. We looked into each other’s eyes and saw trust and acceptance, instead of fear and danger. She trusted me to caress her baby. I trusted that she would not crush me like a minnow with her gigantic tail.

I can still see her awesome eye in my mind’s eye. And I remember how she trusted me with her calf. It would be a good thing for our finite planet if humans could see the soul of all other species, especially the endangered ones.

Q   What does your family think of your travels, books, philanthropy, and growing ideologies?

A   That it’s all pretty cool.

Q   You say that your wife encouraged you to go “climb a mountain”, so clearly she supported that first climb, but does she ever travel or climb with you?

A   We travel regularly together, and used to do hiking and camping trips. But she has MS and is medically restricted from strenuous physical activity.

Q   On returning home to the United States after your various travels, you must be met with many conflicting emotions regarding (global) economic waste and excess. What else do you struggle with in your integration back into your everyday home life, and how do you deal with your emotional conflicts?

A   I’m really not bothered by the vast discrepancies in material wealth anymore. I was the first few times I experienced “third world” poverty. It felt very weird coming home, caring for our kids, going to the office, and just living my life which was so different from that of the people I had been around in Nepal, India, and other “exotic” places. But the other cultures I’ve spent time with are more wealthy than ours in other ways. I’d like to bring back to the US the emotional and spiritual maturity I have found in Nepal (which it the poorest country outside of Africa). What I still wonder and sort of worry about is whether my own efforts at infrastructure development in Nepal are actually helping or hurting the villages I’ve worked with. But, we do the best we can, and then, “so it goes” (per my fellow Hoosier, Kurt Vonnegut).

Q   People often feel helpless to “do something significant” to improve our world or find meaning to their lives. What suggestions would you give to others perhaps not so adventurous as yourself?

A   Consider deeply what you care about. When you understand what you truly value, then guide your life in a way which promotes the values you care most about.

Q   Your recent book, Godless, is a very provocative title and offers what others may consider controversial insight into religious doctrines and dogma. Have you received any negative feedback or misunderstanding regarding it, and if so, what would you want to clarify for potential readers?

A   “Godless” is explained in the book on several levels. One of the points it makes is that making gods out of religious doctrines or political ideologies has caused much harm throughout human history. Believers tend to divide humanity into us and them, believers and nonbelievers. But what you personally believe or don’t believe probably won’t harm other people so long as you value tolerance. Unfortunately, religious and political zealots tend not to value tolerance and many are led by unscrupulous leaders to treat nonbelievers as less than human. The book makes the case that we would be better off to ditch the whole God-thing and admit we really don’t know whether God exists, or, to think that everything and every moment is sacred.

Q   What’s next for you, Jeff?

A   After finishing writing a book, I take several months to try to promote the book, as I’m doing now. And, the last thing I want to think about is writing another one. Eventually another seed will germinate. In the meantime, I run the Basa Village Foundation, serve on 5 nonprofit boards, teach a class on philanthropy at Butler University, and organize trekking and mountaineering expeditions.

Q   Where can our readers discover more about you, your philanthropic work, and your books?

A   My website has all that info: www.jeffreyrasley.com

Amazon Author page is http://www.amazon.com/Jeff-Rasley/e/B004Q3D6B2

Other social media sites are :

https://www.linkedin.com/pub/jeff-rasley/12/984/619

http://www.pinterest.com/pinner362436

https://twitter.com/jeffrasley

https://plus.google.com/u/0/104731913652844816663

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4114763.Jeffrey_Rasley

https://www.facebook.com/JeffRasleyAndMidsummerBooks

 

 

 

Bucket List Living For Moms: Become a More Adventurous Parent

BucketListCoverHiRes_(1)

I’m so pleased to welcome the author of Bucket List Living for Moms: Become a More Adventurous Parent, Lara Krupicka! I’m a huge believer in “bucket lists” and was so pleased to be asked to interview Lara and learn more about this intrepid writer, journalist, and mother. Welcome Lara.

Interviewer: Debbie McClure

*************

Q What’s so special about bucket lists?

A bucket list is a non-threatening way to think through what exhilarates you and which aspects of exploration and adventure are most appealing to you. Not everyone’s list is going to be the same. Different things interest each of us, which makes creating a bucket list an exercise in self-exploration. Then acting on those goals can take our lives in so many different directions.

Plus, it can be powerful to talk about bucket list longings with those we love. When everyone is encouraged to be vulnerable and honest, it can be eye-opening to learn what those around us really want to do and see in life. That knowledge gives us opportunities to bring encouragement and support to our family and friends. There are plenty of relational benefits to creating, sharing, and accomplishing bucket lists with others.

Q Why a book like this for moms in particular?

In a family, Mom usually comes last, to the point that many of us end up sacrificing our own identities in service of our spouses and children. We no longer remember what we like to do for ourselves – for enjoyment or self-improvement. The overall homogeneity of modern moms (irrespective of actual parenting practices) is troublesome. So I wrote this book as a guide for helping moms get ideas on how to uniquely care for themselves, to model for their kids the importance of continuing to go after your dreams, and as a means to prioritize their goals for spending what time they have to invest in themselves.

Q Don’t moms have enough to do these days without adding in a bucket list to worry about?

It’s true. Moms today are very busy. But with most of their time and attention going toward their children, I think every mom deserves a bucket list of goals they look forward to completing. A list prepared with care will be motivating instead of anxiety-producing and will be individualized enough to skirt the competitiveness that often sneaks into the realm of motherhood. Not only can it be invigorating and refreshing for a mom to complete a bucket list goal, but also the benefits extend out to her family and her relationship with her kids. In other words, a good bucket list should be a life enhancer, not a stressor.

Q What was the personal or professional lesson it took you the longest time to learn, and why?

It took me a long time to learn that my words matter. I blogged for a few years and had very few readers, which was frustrating, but not unexpected. Somehow I assumed that no one would want to read what I was writing. And yet I kept on writing because I could not keep from sharing my stories. Even after a number of my articles were published, I still did not think I had anything worthwhile to say. Part of the reason I took so many years to get into writing was because of that self doubt. Finally I decided that maybe my experiences weren’t so boring or unique. I still have a tendency to stick to “safe” subjects, but my writing is much more self-assured. I am thankful for the readers who have chimed in to say how my stories put their experiences into words or how my writing has encouraged them or helped them in some way. That knowledge – that my words do matter and can make a difference in the world – has given more depth and meaning to my work. I am so glad I learned that lesson.

Q What about bucket lists for dads, kids, or other people?

Family is a great setting for living out your life longings. Dads tend to be a little clearer about their goals in life for the most part, but even still every dad should create their own bucket list. Kids, because of their natural curiosity about the world, have lists of things they want to do (learn how to skateboard, be tall enough to ride a rollercoaster, etc). They just do not formalize them as bucket lists – and why would they when “kicking the bucket” is far from being top of mind for them? Again, I would still encourage kids (and really anyone) to write those down. If nothing else, writing down your dreams makes them more likely to happen.

I am also a big advocate for the family bucket list – a list of things a family wants to do together before the children are grown. It is a great tool for being intentional about our family identity and making the most of those 18 or so years.

Q Couldn’t people make a bucket list without having to read a book?

Absolutely. In fact, I think all of us already have a bucket list of some sort. The problem is that most of the time it exists in our heads and we don’t act on it very often. Plus, the common concept of a bucket list tends to limit us to considering only travel goals. But a fulfilling list is more than that. In both of my books, Family Bucket Lists and Bucket List Living For Moms, I encourage readers to think through their dreams and hopes across their life and across a variety of categories. The result is they have articulated their deepest longings and pinpointed long and short-term goals; goals that are easy to achieve and those that will take years, along with goals that they would like to accomplish with other people.

Q So, was being a writer on your bucket list?

It was! I decided when I was about 6 or 8 years old (once I could formulate my own stories on paper), that I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I took a few detours along the way, but never forgot that dream. And now here I am – living it!

Q How does that work – being a writer and a mom?

Like any working mom, I can‘t say that it balances perfectly. But writing in particular lends itself to fitting in the gaps of family life. Most days I write and take care of work details while my children are at school. Many times that bleeds over to dinnertime. Yet I am also free when my kids need me, like for volunteering at school or taking them to appointments and activities.

Q Who would you say was your greatest mentor, and why?

I have been so, so fortunate to have some wonderful mentors in my life. As a writing mom, I have to say Christina Katz has been a great mentor and coach. She has helped me hone my skills and sort through what I have to say that will have the most impact. Under her tutelage I have gone from being a hopeful writer to professional journalist. What makes her such a great mentor is that she never stops pushing me to do better, to take the next step. She is incredibly observant. Christina can often see before I can what aspect of my life needs to be poured onto the page to help others. And she is so practical with her advice.

Q I suppose as a bucket list expert you have plenty of opportunities to live out your life dreams. Tell us what that’s like for you.

I am an ordinary mom, with kids to feed and clothe, and a job to fulfill. Nobody is footing the bills for my adventures. But I have come to believe so strongly in the importance of doing what matters most, that it seems someone in our family is checking off a bucket list goal almost every month. The biggest reason for that is awareness. I am much more open to spotting opportunities to achieve goals – big and small. And I have my family in a mindset to jump on those opportunities as often as we can, which is a big deal. I learned the hard way that hesitating doesn’t help. It also doesn’t help to not be clear in communicating your desires. Our bucket lists have given us a tool to communicate better.

Again, we are not out scaling mountains or traveling the world. With our family’s temperament, we could not handle that pace. Instead, most of our days are pretty ordinary.

We just do not let too much time go by between trying new experiences. And we don’t try to cram it all into school breaks and summer vacation. I find there are so many great adventures we can have right at home, that we don’t need to put everything off to vacation time.

Q As a writer, what advice would you give to new writers who are coming up the ladder?

Stick with it. Keep on writing. That blog you write may not get many visitors, but it may be honing your voice. Your first novel may get rejected over and over. But your second might be a big hit. The learning curve in the world of publishing is a long, steep one so you have to be committed for the long haul. And don’t buy into the scarcity mindset – that someone else’s success in writing comes at your expense. Be supportive of other writers and you can build the kind of camaraderie that will sustain you along the path to becoming a published writer.

Q From your own bucket list, what is the biggest goal or your most favourite goal that you have left to accomplish?

I cannot wait to spend time in the Tuscany region of Italy. Everything I have seen and heard about it sounds ideal in so many ways – the scenery, the food, the history. I have been studying Italian on the side and watching as many movies filmed in the region as I can find. At some point I want to read up on Italian history. It may be a long time before I get there, so I want to be prepared to make the most of every minute I will have once it arrives.

 

Thank you Lara! For more information about Lara and where to connect with her, click on the following links:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/amusingmom

Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/amusingmomlara/

Google+: https://plus.google.com/105008897027927463869

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1045860.Lara.Krupicka

 

 

 

 

Connected To Goodness: Manifest Everything You Desire In Business and Life

CONNECTED TO GOODNESS

David Meltzer was at the top of his game in the business world as CEO to sports super agent Leigh Steinberg (played by Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire). He worked alongside Hall of Fame Quarterback Warren Moon and lectured around the globe. But something was missing, and the multimillionaire went on a rapid downward spiral that ended in bankruptcy. It was only then that David realized in order to revive and thrive he needed to blend spirituality with business. The result of his transformation is his remarkably successful venture, Sports 1 Marketing, and the debut of his new book (coauthored with Harrison Lebowitz) Connected To Goodness: Manifest Everything You Desire In Business and Life.

Interviewer: Christina Hamlett

**********

Q: There are lots of books on today’s market that talk about personal empowerment, positive thinking, and defining with clarity what it is you really want out of life, work and relationships. What do you feel best distinguishes your own approach to this topic?

A: I take a pragmatic approach. I’ve tried to take very complex spiritual, religious, and business beliefs and organize and collate them into a pragmatic, step-by-step process to follow in order to manifest what you desire rapidly and accurately.

Q: What in your background gives you the credibility so that others will listen to your message?

A: I have degrees, awards and accolades, been in executive positions and still, I believe my main credibility comes from the “dummy tax” that I paid … the lessons that I’ve learned through experiencing life and overcoming the mistakes that I’ve made along the way.

Q: At what point in your life did spirituality become a core element?

A: Spirituality has always been a core element, but I did not become aware of it until I was a Diver or at a stage of my life that I was empowered trying to empower others at the age of 38. My wife, on the other hand, has always been spiritual and tried to make me aware of it earlier, but I guess I just wasn’t ready and/or let my ego stand in the way. More specifically, however, while on this downward spiral, I was on a flight to Calcutta, India for business and was sitting next to Dr. Sangeeta Sahi, who was a complete stranger at that time. She turned and looked at me and asked, “Are you okay?”

I replied, “I’ve gone through some tough times, but I’m back on track.”

I added cheerfully, “Actually, I’m better than ever.”

Dr. Sahi studied me closely, then said, “You are full of light, but your energy is off. You’re blocking your energy and are in your own way.”

It blew me away that not only could she read my energy, but she used language identical to what I had heard from others who had begun to peak my interest into spirituality. Dr. Sahi turned out to not only be a medical doctor, but also a holistic accelerator of healing, and a practitioner of Quantum medicine. She offered to work with me. I immediately participated in one of her workshops where I could learn about Theta meditation and healing …which completely changed my life for the better.

Q: What was your belief system prior to that moment?

A: Prior to then, I believed that I was in control of my destiny and could overcome any obstacle that I faced. Now, instead of going out and getting what I want, I attract it to myself with no resistance.

Q: How and when did you decide to incorporate spirituality into your business practice?

A: When I became comfortable with Theta meditation and healing, I started incorporating these aspects of manifestation into my business practices. This happened in my late 30’s.

Q: I’m assuming this transition didn’t happen overnight?

A: You’re right. Gaining gratitude and empathy and strengthening a connection to goodness that had weakened takes time and has an accumulative effect.

Q: Let’s talk about intuition. In your view, is it an inherited trait or a learned behavior? For instance, why is it that some individuals when faced with a challenging decision always seem to have a hunch, listen to an inner voice or just “know” which choice is the right one?

A: We all have an inner voice and an intuitive sense to make the right decision based off of our awareness. Unfortunately, sometimes our subconscious – our ego – gets in our way and weakens our connection to goodness. We must then “Cancel” the negative chatter in our head, “Clear” our minds and “Connect” to goodness.

Q: Do you believe that faith – and whether it takes the form of religion or spirituality – is increasing its influence in the 21st century or losing it?

A: Because of the faster vibration and the complexity of what we’re exposed to, I think we’re losing our faith as we lose our awareness. Collectively, we have weakened our connection to goodness.

Q: You’ve indicated there are seven interconnected principles that have a combination of general and specific relevance to our personal and professional lives. Which of these do you believe had/have the strongest bearing on your own success?

A: The Foundation Principle. Knowing and understanding my personal, experience, giving and receiving values affects everything I do. Like everything else in the world, without a strong foundation, things are unstable. This also is the Foundation for all of the other Principles in my book.

Q: Has it been difficult or easy to “keep to the code” of those principles?

A: All good habits are hard at first and hurt, then they eventually get easier and easier. Based on the core of my belief system and principles as well as my philosophy on how the imagination works with the higher mind to create inspiration, the more we do something, the easier it gets as well … be it swinging a golf club, working on a relationship, manifesting financial success and so on.

Q: Tell us about the different life or business stages you’ve identified in your chapters.

A: The life and business stages are the same. The life stages are simply the macrocosmic view of the more specific microscopic components that embody the life stages, such as business. As discussed under the Destination Principle, these stages are: Skivers, who lack empathy and gratitude; Strivers, who are themselves empowered; Drivers, who are empowered and can empower others; and Thrivers, who are empowered and can empower others to further empower others. We need to be aware of when we weaken our connection to goodness. This loss of gratitude and empathy leads us to the stages of: Arrivers, who are self-entitled; Divers, who have an even weaker connection because of self-sabotage; and Survivors, who are just going through the basic motions of living and deciding whether to exist or not.

Q: What is the greatest leap of faith you have ever taken?

A: Wow, this is a great question! I would say that the greatest leap of faith would be when I went to work for Westlaw right out of law school instead of being a “real” lawyer, as my Jewish mother said. Believing that the Internet was going to be a big thing, I went against the grain.

Q: Complete this metaphorical sentence: Life is like ______________________.

A: From my mentor Albert Einstein — “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

Q: Describe what the collaborative process was like in working on this book.

A: It was a phenomenal process between Harrison and me. I would do the due diligence and research … and then organize and lecture on each chapter. Harrison would record it and then put it into his prose and voice. I would then edit it and re-adjust it into the clarity, balance and focus of my voice. And then it would go back to him in this circular fashion until we were both satisfied. Like everything else, with this second book we are seeing that it is getting easier and easier, and Harrison and I should be able to get out three or four books a year.

Q: How did your book and training lead to your partnership with Internships.com and what is that all about?

A: Utilizing my years of training others, travelling the world for speaking engagements, and my business model of empowering others to empower others lead to the creation of my internship program. For years, I had been trying to figure out how to monetize this internship program. Through one of our interns being more interested than interesting, we were able to attract internships.com and create a mutually beneficial relationship based off of the reasons, impacts, and capabilities of both companies. We co-developed the sports microsite that posts sports-related internship positions and provides training, certification and other opportunities, including a video training series based on the book and a link to our own Web Channel, The Inspirational Sports Network (www.tisnchannel.com).

Q: If you were making a commencement speech to the next generation of thought and business leaders, what would your theme be?

A: How empowerment leads to happiness.

Q: Where can readers learn more about you?

A: www.connectedtogoodness.com; Twitter: @dmeltzer; Facebook: /connectedtogoodness; and

Instagram: @davemeltzer

They can learn more about my business, Sports 1 Marketing, at: www.sports1marketing.com; Twitter: @sports1mktg; Facebook: /sports1marketing; and Instagram: @sports1marketing

Q: Anything else you’d like to add?

A: The official book launch for Connected To Goodness will take place on September 27th at 3:00 p.m. at the Barnes & Noble, Tustin, The Market Place, 13712 Jamboree Road in Irvine, CA. I’ll be there to sign books along with my business partner and great friend, Pro Football Hall of Fame Quarterback Warren Moon, who wrote the foreword. We’ll also have an informative discussion on how to bring out greatness in others and in yourself. We’d love to see you there if you can make it. Besides Barnes and Nobles, both the brick and mortar stores and online, you can also get the book from Amazon or through www.connectedtogoodness.com.

Also, I’ve already begun a book tour. While subject to change and further additions, here’s the most up-to-date list of dates in case I happen to be in your area:

September 8 – Speaker, Arizona State University

*September 10 or 11, Speaker, St. Johns University

*September 10 or 11, Speaker, Columbia University

September 15 – Speaker, Concordia University

September 19 – Speaker and Workshop, University of Michigan

September 22 – Speaker, Case Western University

September 29 – Speaker, University of Texas

September 30 – Speaker, Texas Tech University

October 6 – Speaker, Umass-Amherst

October 7 – Speaker, Williams College

October 22 – Speaker, Seattle University

October 23 –Speaker, University of Oregon

October 24 – Speaker, University of Oregon

October 28 – Speaker, Tulane University

November 3 – Speaker, University of Miami

November 4 – Speaker, Florida State University

November 17 – Speaker, George Washington University

*November 18 – Speaker, George Mason University

*November 18 – Speaker, Georgetown University

November 19 – Speaker, Southern Virginia University

 

*Denotes awaiting confirmation of date. Please check www.connectedtogoodness.com for any changes.

Finally, we anticipate the next book in this series coming out in January!

 

 

 

A Conversation with Daniel Blanchard

Daniel Blanchard

“The surest way to corrupt a youth,” wrote German scholar Friedrich Nietzsche, “is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.”

As teens of any generation go through the painful process of individuating, it’s not uncommon that they either try to model themselves after the cool kids that belong to the “in” crowd or they fall into a state of despair that there is nothing unique about their own personalities or skill sets which will deliver the attention – and validation – they crave. Compounding the problem are parents who are trying to live vicariously through their offspring by pushing unrealistic expectations or those who lament that celebrities seem to have more influence on a teenager’s behavioral choices than any lessons imparted throughout childhood.

In his recent interview with You Read It Here First, author and educator Daniel Blanchard talks about his new teen leadership series, Granddaddy’s Secrets, and the importance of being a positive role model for the young people in our lives.

Interviewer: Christina Hamlett

**********

Q: The passion for helping young people find their way in a troubling world often stems from either having been influenced by supportive mentors throughout adolescence or, on the flip side, having no one to turn to and learning to overcome personal hardships through trial and error. What was your own background in this regard that shaped your career decisions as an adult?

A: Believe it or not, some of my earliest role models that shaped my life were sport heroes that I watched on television. I would watch these amazing athletes do something special and then I would want to do something special too. The next mentors that entered my life were my athletic coaches. I learned a lot from these men. They were strong, skilled, and smart. These were the things that I wanted to become too. However, I am quick to acknowledge that I didn’t have enough mentors in my life growing up, and thus I felt that many times it took me twice as long to accomplish things. Even though we do learn from our mistakes, mistakes are painful. Teens should go out of their way to pursue mentors.

Q: What’s the best advice anyone ever gave you when you were growing up?

A: One of my early wrestling coaches told me after one of my losses that life was a marathon, not a sprint. And if I just hung in there, someday I will pass out these other kids that got an earlier start than I did in this sport. I did hang in there, and became very good over time, and eventually passes them all out.

Q: There’s an escalating sense of “entitlement” among today’s tweens and teens – a mindset that has evolved as much from bad parenting as it has from political leadership that believes the have-nots are owed whatever the haves earned through hard work. What’s your response to a young person who has no role models in his/her life from which to learn an appropriate and disciplined work ethic?

A: A young person has to start reading biographies of successful people. Here in these books they will learn how hard and how long these great people had to work for their success. Once they really get to know someone who has done something special, they will see that there are no handouts. Or at least now handouts that create any person of real quality. My first book, Granddaddy’s Secrets: Feeling Lucky? is a good example that explains how there are no handouts that could ever make one a real leader, and what many of our friends and society is doing is wrong. We need to think for ourselves, stand on our own two feet, and create our own luck.

Q: How about the highly visible role that celebrities play in reinforcing bad behaviors (i.e., arrogance, substance abuse, out-of-control spending, out-of-wedlock pregnancy)? I’m guessing you’ve heard no shortage of teens say, “Well if So-and-So can do it and they’re famous, why can’t I?”

A: I’m tired of stars saying that they are not role models. They couldn’t be more wrong. They are role models whether they like it or not, so they better start behaving like role models because our youth is watching. I feel that it is our responsibility as adults to be those role models that our youth is looking for. And if we’re not big enough yet in their eyes, well then, we better get busy getting bigger, while we point them to real role models that really are doing something special and don’t behave badly. Finally, we need to open our mouths and tell our youth about the bad examples that celebrities are reinforcing. Let’s point out their bad behaviors and get it into our youth’s heads that that kind of behavior isn’t okay. If we can get our youth to start viewing celebrities’ bad behaviors as wrong, then maybe celebrities will think twice about what they are doing.

Q: What inspired you to write Feeling Lucky?

A: My students asked me over a ten year period to write the book. I finally broke down and wrote it. I figured they must be seeing something that I’m not if they are continuously telling me to write a book in order to tell other students what I’m telling them. So, I figured, why not have faith in them and do it.

Q: How did you decide on the title for this book?

A: I wanted to change the paradigm of luck being when one lazily sits back and waits for something good to come to them, to working hard and going out and creating good things in one’s life. The new definition of luck is preparation meeting opportunity. We create our own luck through hard work. I was hoping by calling my first book, Feeling Lucky? I can get people to think about what luck really is.

Q: In a nutshell, what’s the book about?

A: Granddaddy’s Secrets: Feeling Lucky? is about a struggling teen who lives in a rough neighborhood and goes to a rough school. On his 16th birthday he meets up with his estranged and mysterious Granddaddy who shares with him what it means to be a leader and a real man.

Q: I understand this is part of a teen leadership series. Tell us more.

A: Yes. My Granddaddy’s Secrets teen leadership book series has three books in it. The first book, Feeling Lucky? is the 10th grade story of a struggling teen who spends his 16th birthday in the park listening to his Granddaddy’s wisdom. The second book, Feeling Good,  is the 11th grade story of the same teen who has grown from his Granddaddy’s wisdom and is now trying to apply some of these secrets of success and leadership to his own life. The third book, Feeling Strong! is the 12th grade story of the same teen as he is getting ready to graduate high school and take that next big step of going out in that great big world.

Q: There can certainly never be enough books on the market to encourage young people to be independent thinkers, to stay positive, to be kind, and to make a difference as they go forth into the world. The question, though, is how do you get them to read these books – including yours – when there’s such a multiplicity of distractions (especially technological) to take their attention elsewhere?

A: It’s always a struggle to get teens to read. However, the best way to get someone to read a book is still word-of-mouth. A teen needs to constantly hear us talking about these books like they are something really special. They need to constantly hear how books made a difference in our lives. If teens hear this kind of stuff enough, they will become curious and just may read these books that we keep telling them about.

Q: Speaking of technology, is too much of a good thing actually a bad thing in a teen’s social development? For instance, is insularity and anonymity breeding a generation of youth that can no longer communicate in person or, worse, feel they shouldn’t be held accountable for anything hurtful they say via an electronic medium?

A: Sadly, I do believe that that is happening to some degree. We adults remember what it was like to actually talk to people. We must go out of our way to talk to teens. They aren’t getting old fashion human conversations from most of their younger friends, so they need to get it from us. During these interactions we can build relationships with them and work on their communication skills, as well as their life skills, and let them know that they can’t hide behind electronics and say hurtful things to each other.

Q: For youth between the ages of 10 and 24, suicide is the third leading cause of death in the U.S. and is prompted by feelings of stress, depression, inferiority, anger, or powerlessness. What do you tell a struggling teen who is overwhelmed by life’s unfairness and believes that the only solution is a fatal exit?

A: Talk to an adult. Adults do care. In return, as I mentioned above, we adults need to go out of our way to constantly talk to our youth and build those relationships. No teen should ever feel that he or she does not have an adult that they can turn to. In addition, I also tell our youth that life drains us all, and all of us need to constantly fill up our emotional bank accounts. We fill up our emotional bank accounts by reading positive, self-improvement books, and by having great conversations and relationships with others. So whenever, life makes an emotional withdraw from our emotional bank accounts, we can handle it because we are always making positive emotional deposits back into our emotional bank accounts. By constantly doing this, we never let life emotionally bankrupt us.

Q: What do you say to the parents of that struggling teen?

A: You are the most important person in your child’s life. Don’t give up. They are listening to you, regardless of how they are acting at the moment. It may take years, but eventually, our youth will show us that they were indeed listening.

Q: What are you working on now?

A: I’m working on my third book of the Granddaddy’s Secrets teen leadership book series, as well as a second edition of my first book.

Q: Where can readers learn more about you?

A: They can check out my website, blog, and vlog at: www.GranddaddysSecrets.com. I also have a Granddaddy’s Secrets Facebook page they can visit and like. In addition, they can find my book on Amazon, as well as other major distributors.

Q: Anything else you’d like to add?

A: Teens, you are special. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t sweat it if you don’t feel like you’re winning the race at this very exact moment. Stick with it and you’ll do plenty of winning before your time is up. And when you are all grown up, remember the people that helped you get there, and make sure you return their acts of kindness to the next generation.

 

Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams

Trust_Your_Life,_by_Noelle_Sterne,_Front_Cover,_1.23M,_jpg,_9.13.11

Author, editor, writing coach and spiritual counselor Noelle Sterne has published over 300 pieces in print and online venues, including Writer’s Digest, The Writer, Women on Writing, Funds for Writers, Children’s Book Insider, Transformation Magazine, and Unity MagazineIn her book Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams, she draws examples from her academic consulting and other aspects of life to help readers release regrets, re-label their past, and reach their lifelong yearnings.

Interviewer: Christina Hamlett

**********

Q: Tell us about your personal and professional journey as a writer, along with who or what encouraged you along the way.

In the likely apocryphal story my mother loved to repeat, I stood up in the crib at 4 months old crying not “Momma, Momma” but “Book-a! Book-a!” I don’t remember this. But like so many other writers, I started early. I still have, from my productions at about age 10, crumbling black three-ringed notebooks, 7×10”, filled with lined pages of painstaking handwritten poems and stories. These notebooks proliferated, graduated to file folders, and now to magically stored computer files with gigantic gigabyte capacity.

From my earliest consciousness, the desire to write has been an inner drive, a necessity, a deliciousness, ever unfinished business. I write to share the wisdom that comes through me. To let others to see and feel through me. To capture the essence of what I marvel at, what moves, fascinates, and intrigues me. To touch others with universal feelings and truths. In my professional journey, like almost everyone else, I’ve got a wall-lining collection of rejections. I continue to explore new avenues for stories and short pieces on writing craft, writing motivation, and spirituality—ezines, blogs, the few remaining print magazines.

My mother certainly encouraged and, for better or worse, thought everything I produced was gold. In high school, the closest individual to a mentor was a high school teacher. I didn’t know her personally but attended a lecture she gave. Her words so moved me that I somehow marshaled the nerve to write to her and enclosed some of my poems. Her response (I still have the original letter) was fantastic! This experience is recounted in “The Writing Mentor I Never Met” (ReadLearnWrite, September 27, 2012. http://readlearnwrite.com/guest-post-the-writing-mentor-i-never-met/)

As an adult, when I share my dreams and struggles with my few good women friends, they are extremely supportive. My husband, though, is my most constant supporter. He critiques my pieces honestly, provides a wider perspective (rejection remedy), gives me the alone time and freedom I need, and makes great salads.

Q: What was the “aha!” moment that inspired you to start writing Trust Your Life?

The moment was rather a succession of moments. First was in my coaching and editing practice assisting adults who return to universities for dreamed-of graduate degrees. No matter how impressive their accomplishments and titles, they often lamented about lost time, feared they would never finish, and voiced destructive perspectives that impeded their progress. Editing their dissertations, I also found myself reassuring them that they indeed deserved to reach their dream, at whatever age. In the process, I developed many steps for helping them, and the experiences formed a major impetus for the book.

The second “moment” was my quest of my own dream. Like clients, I was battling the same doubts and fears about deserving to reach my dream—writing my own work. Writing about achieving one’s dream was what I needed to learn too.

Q: The title is wonderful – how did you come up with it?

I wanted words that capsulate what so many of us feel about our lives. In an early essay that was the germ of the book, I persisted in not forgiving myself for past decisions –such as earning my own doctorate—and felt they were getting in the way of my dream. The title reflects the connection between trusting one’s choices, wherever they have led, and not judging them as misguided, wrong, or blatantly stupid.

The second part of the title tells readers that it’s acceptable—no, necessary—to honor our inner guidance and secret dreams. And I am pleased that both titles are imperatives or, if you will, affirmations.

Q: Who would you say is the target reader that will benefit the most from the universal themes and messages your book addresses?

The first answer is from a generous endorser: “This book is for readers of all ages—I am giving a copy to my sharp 87-year-old relative to show her that ‘getting old’ doesn’t mean coming to the end of one’s ‘useful’ life.”

The second answer: Trust Your Life addresses those who want something that’s gnawing but they can’t yet identify, those who yearn for an often lifelong, sometimes outrageous pursuit they’ve never let themselves pursue. The book is also for those who want to increase what they’ve already discovered and may have embarked on. Readers include but are not limited to Baby Boomers, seniors, empty nesters, and retirees.

Third answer (sorry to be so verbose): This book is for all of us who suspect we’re not living up to our potential but may not know what to do for solutions. Today more people are admitting that the great American credo of consumerism doesn’tsatisfy. The book shows readers how to turn from the chase after accumulation, despondency, lethargy, and fears to identify and activate the dreams they’ve denied.

Q: In the preface you talk about the importance of trusting one’s inner wisdom. How do we know, though, whether it’s the voice of wisdom and our inner self guiding us to make smart decisions versus the voice of our head or our ego?

The touchstones for me, and others, are first physical. For example, “I felt a lightness in my chest, a sense of completion, of everything dropping into place . . .” (p. 75).

Later I relate the definitive answer of a member of A Course in Miracles study group: “It gives you peace” (p. 93). Then I expand: “The voice . . . is certain, calm and strong. It commands without censure and doesn’t waste words. Past all my nonsense, it centers right in” (p. 94).

Q: Are there such things as irreversible wrong turns in life?

No! Every turn is for learning. I go so far, with many others, and say there are no mistakes. In the larger picture, whatever the consequences (and they may have been rather severe by earthly standards), we have made no mistakes but rather have had experiences. When we look back on our experiences and reflect on the march of happenings from one person, event, or situation to another, we begin to see the line of synchronicity, connection, and purpose. In my own case, the academic editing practice helped me in my own writing to write better, longer, sharper, and with more discipline.

As writers, we may recognize the synchronicity: Haven’t you experienced something you thought had nothing to do with writing, or chose to do something you felt was a waste of time? And then . . . a day, week, month, or year(s) later you use this experience in your current work?

So, a major premise of this book is this: There are no mistakes. Even if you can’t immediately see the sense, your life experiences prepared you perfectly for where you are now. Nothing was wasted.

Q: Do you believe in destiny or choice?

I believe in choice. More radically—we choose, on a conscious or unconscious level, everything that “happens” to us. I refer readers to a piece of mine on this topic in Inspire Me Today:“We Are the Creators of Our Lives” (http://inspiremetoday.com/brilliance/we-are-the-creators-of-our-lives/).

Q: Have you ever taken a leap of faith? 

Every time I sit down to write I take a leap of faith. I leap knowing I will be given the right ideas and words. I love American poet Richard Wilbur’s command: “Step off assuredly into the blank of your mind. / Something will come to you” (“Walking to Sleep,” lines 3-4).

Another very large leap: In deciding to move to Florida (for many pleasant reasons) from New York City, my husband and I worried, I mean, wondered about missing the city’s energy. A wise spiritual teacher advised us: “You take your consciousness with you.” As we took the leap, we have discovered many like-minded people and relationships, personal and professional.

Q: What’s your definition of spirituality?

Spirituality is recognizing we are spiritual beings on a material journey. Listening and surrendering to our inner guidance. Not solely following externally imposed precepts or faithfully attending church. But we can be religious and spiritual at the same time. Many spiritual/religious movements recognize our inner guidance and meditation. Spirituality expresses in many forms, especially with a good heart.

Q: If you could add an extra commandment to the existing ten, what would it be and why?

Thou shalt listen inside to your Inner Guide, which always steers you right.

Q: It’s often said that “thoughts become things” and that our expectations regarding a particular outcome – be it positive or negative – can actually cause those events to manifest. What’s your response to someone who says, “You’re telling me it’s my fault? That I’m the one who created this? Oh no!”

It’s true. You did. But the good news is that you can uncreate and recreate. The ancient Greeks, who didn’t practice religion in our sense, believed the same. In the book (pp. 4-5), I quote Deepak Chopra: “You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. . . . we have access to an infinity of choices.”

Q: What about people who live in constant denial of their dreams, be it a mindset of unworthiness or a skeptical view that the dream is impossible? Is that repeated state of denial doing more to jeopardize their physical and mental health than they realize?

Denial of our dreams can indeed result in physical and mental health manifestations. In Chapter 3, I talk about this and refer to spiritual teacher Louise Hay’s valuable chart of body-mind relationships. Many others today, thankfully, have added to our understanding, such as Drs. Larry Dossey and Bernie Siegel. Whatever we deny in ourselves, resent, say yes to when we know we should say no (and vice versa), is reflected in our bodies and our outlooks.

Denial breeds anger, resentment, frustration, and self-hatred, and we become depressed and joyless. How can we then pursue our dreams?

Q: So how do we retrain ourselves to generate more positivity in our lives?

First, with affirmations. A wonderful way is in Emmet Fox’s The Golden Key: whenever a negative thought strikes, think of God instead. Period.

Second, with meditation. Daily meditation is a discipline in itself. Our “drunken monkey mind” relentlessly tries to take over, but the discipline is in sitting there and repeating a chosen meditation phrase or following our breath. Eventually the sabotaging mind quiets down and slinks away.

Third, people we associate with. Surround yourself with positive people, not the emotional leeches and “crazymakers” (Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, p. 44). Notice how you feel after meeting or spending time with someone. Rejuvenated? Refreshed? Or depleted? Headachy? There’s your answer.

Q: The theme of forgiveness figures prominently in Trust Your Life. Why is the practice of forgiving not only those who have hurt us but also forgiving ourselves such a critical component of dream fulfillment?

Forgiveness is crucial for our outlook, attitude, perspective, perceptions, and projections (that should cover it). Not forgiving, we’re angry and tight, holding onto old hurts like a favorite childhood doll. We’re using our energy to fuel our resentments and proud rightness. These emotional and psychological activities leave us little for thinking creatively and proactively to pursue what we really want to do. As we forgive even one person, simultaneous miracles occur: We find it easier to forgive our sister, our parents, our boss and coworkers, and even ourselves. 

Q: Why is anger such heavy baggage for most people to unload?

When we’re angry, we think we’re right. Underneath, we also feel hurt and rejected. Anger is also a way to control others and get their attention. For such reasons we hold on—to hurts, slights, insults, betrayals, wrongs, angers, resentments, annoyances—through months, years, decades, and, before we blink, a lifetime.

You know the stories—maybe you have one—of brothers estranged for 25 years over an argument they can’t even remember, or mother and daughter who exchange only frosty greeting cards at Christmas. The anger is heavy baggage because we usually find it hard to put aside our pride and say, “I was wrong” or “Please forgive me.” As we are able to, we’ll feel a great lightness and rush of love.

Q: Do you think the world in general is becoming more spiritual or less so?

Much more spiritual. This book’s popularity, and that of many other spiritual books, attests this. Also, in the field of writing, more publishers and agents are now calling for books in the genres of “New Age,” “Spiritual,” “Metaphysical.” They wouldn’t touch these a few years ago. Spiritually-based blogs and magazines continue to appear. And great teachers like Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer are almost household words, and with television specials.

Too, more people are seeking spiritual resources of all kinds. Articles in mainstream magazines and the Internet feature meditation and intuition-following. Yoga has become widely accepted. Recently, three spiritually-oriented movies became box-office hits— about Jesus, belief in God, and the afterlife. That’s a major shift from the usual action-adventure-thriller-CIA-aliens-monster movies.

Q: What’s next on your plate?

Next: to continue to spread the messages of Trust Your Life. I want to help people realize they are in control of their lives and have the power to build their lives as they wish.

Next again: I am working on Trust Your Life’ssequel: Competition Therapy: Conquer Your Envy Of Others Who Are Where You Think You Should Be. Spiritually based, this book attacks the notion that if you’ve got it, I can’t get it.

Next again: I continue in the academic coaching and editing practice, which gives great satisfaction in helping clients grow and achieve their dreams.

From this practice, I am working on a book helping doctoral students their dissertations, the last and possibly most agonizing hurdle. This book addresses students’ largely overlooked but equally important nonacademic difficulties and is possibly the first to do so in depth. The title: Challenges in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping With the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Spiritual Struggles.

Next finally: Other works perpetually in progress and stages of publication, including articles on spiritual and writing craft topics, personal essays, and several novels in various stages of sprouting.

Q: Where can readers learn more about you?

Readers are invited to visit my website, www.trustyourlifenow.com, which has an excerpt from the book and other works. Trust Your Life in paperback and ebook is available on Amazon and other sites.

My webinar presentation can be accessed on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95EeqllONIQ&feature=youtu.be

A radio interview about the book on Carla McClellan’s show Vibrant Living show can be downloaded: http://www.unity.fm/episode/VibrantLiving_062414

A chapter titled “Send Love Ahead” appears in the forthcoming book (August 2014) Transform Your Life! Information is available at http://transformation-publishing.com/book/transform-your-life/

Essays appear on the Writer’s Digest blogs. And my contributions to Author Magazine are available at the “Authors’ Blog”: http://www.authormagazine.org/

Q: Anything else you’d like to add?

A great thank you to you, Christina. You are doing wonderful work in so many areas. And for all readers (including myself), I add this: Start or keep meditating. Listen to yourself. Trust yourself. Dare to be what you know you are meant to be. It is never too late. You deserve a wonderful, satisfying, fulfilling, contributing life.