The New Eve Fertility Method for Getting Pregnant After a Miscarriage or Stillbirth.

bridget-osho

What a pleasure it is to welcome Bridget Osho, who has just released her new book, The New Eve Fertility Method for Getting Pregnant After a Miscarriage or Stillbirth. Bridget is more than a writer, she’s a woman with a mission to help other women overcome the difficulties facing them after pregnancy loss. For any woman who has undergone this traumatic experience, this book, and perhaps the institute she founded in the UK, Cherie Mamma, may be a wonderful new direction to consider. Welcome Bridget!

Interviewer: Debbie A. McClure

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Q: What is the Cherie Mamma Institute?

A: The Cherie Mamma Institute is an organization designed to help women heal from pregnancy loss so that they can conceive healthy babies. We do this by helping them create healing lifestyles and regain their natural feminine balance, usually disrupted by pregnancy loss.

The primary mission of the Institute is to help women who have lost pregnancies grow healthy and happy families. Part of our mission also includes research into the understanding and prevention of pregnancy loss and bringing the topic into the public domain so that it stops being a taboo subject.

Q: When you lost a pregnancy at seven months gestation, that event changed your life on many levels. What would you say has been the most profound lesson you’ve learned in your journey so far?

A: My pregnancy loss led to me to seek a deeper meaning to my life, my calling, and the calling of every woman. I have learned so many life lessons on this journey, but I think that the most profound lesson I have learned is that every woman is called to achieve her emotional, mental, and physical potential. Once she does this, she can be happy and fulfilled.

I believe that it is not just that women can have it all, it is that women need to have it all, and many fertility problems would be prevented if women achieved optimal physical, mental, and emotional well-being. We cannot give what we do not have. Out of the fullness of potential we can become mums, grow our families, and make an impact in the world. That is why it is so important that women who have lost their pregnancies are given the support they need to heal and become the best versions of themselves.

Q: What unexpected lessons have you learned from the women you’ve helped?

A: I have learned that it is not enough to know what to do to help them, you also have to know how to help in a way that empowers them. Many women who have been trying to conceive or lost pregnancies would do anything to have their healthy babies, but after trying different solutions for so long with little success, they can start to lose faith in themselves, which translates to loss of faith in other solutions.

It is an unconscious way of protecting themselves from false hope. In order to help them—and this applies to everybody who needs any form of transformation, such as weight loss, career growth, etc.—one needs to help them believe in themselves again. People need to believe that what they want can still happen for them and they cannot give up. It is about empowering them with hope.

Q: When you wrote your latest book, The New Eve Fertility Method, what were you hoping to accomplish that the Institute couldn’t or hadn’t?

A: I am well aware that not every woman who needs to heal from pregnancy loss will be able to get direct support through the Institute. Through the book, more women will get to know that they can truly heal from pregnancy loss and grow their families.

Q: Could you explain what a rainbow and an angel baby are?

A: An angel baby is what some people call babies who have been lost during pregnancy. They are believed to be little angels in heaven. Some people go as far as to see them as their little guardian angels who are alive, well, and happy. It is a great source of comfort to families who have lost pregnancies if they believe in life after death. I know this helped me a lot when I lost my pregnancy. It still does.

A rainbow baby is what some people call babies conceived after a pregnancy loss and who was born alive and healthy. It denotes the rainbow after a storm in the same way we see rainbows in the sky during/after the rain.

Q: What is the difference between the method you outline in the book and other methods women may have tried?

A: There are two major differences between the New Eve Fertility Method and many other methods.

The first is the emphasis on the totality of what goes into making a woman herself. Too often other fertility methods and approaches focus mainly on the woman’s body. The New Eve Fertility Method is based on the principle that when a woman loses a pregnancy, it is her whole world that has been affected; from her mind, to her emotions, to her body, her relationships, and even her work. This method focuses on helping her to pick up the pieces in all these aspects of her life so that she can truly heal.

The second difference that sets The New Eve Fertility Method apart is the emphasis on trying to heal naturally. Our bodies are naturally designed to conceive and give birth to healthy babies. It is when our natural balance is compromised that fertility becomes a struggle. For many women, this imbalance can be corrected naturally, and even when medical solutions are needed, a natural approach can make them even more effective.

Q: Writing a non-fiction book is quite an undertaking. What have you learned about the processes of non-fiction writing and publishing that you didn’t know before?

A: There is a lot more to writing a book than having ideas! For one, you need to make sure that you can guide a reader from little or no knowledge on the topic to being very knowledgeable. It means you need to be able to put yourself in the shoes of your reader.

Another thing is that you cannot do it on your own, you need at least another pair of eyes to read your work and you also need to have an effective marketing plan, otherwise your book will not get into the hands of the people who really need it.

Q: What do you estimate is the success/failure rate for women who come to you and the Institute for help?

A: It is difficult to look at my work in terms of rates, since women who approach us have different needs. Some women need to heal physically, e.g. improve their menstrual cycles. Some women need the emotional support to help them heal from pregnancy loss. While we support women to conceive healthy babies, our primary focus is to help them heal emotionally, physically, and mentally from pregnancy loss.

To this end, we have had women whose menstrual cycles have resumed after months of no periods, women who have conceived and delivered healthy babies, and women who feel that they have been given a new lease of life and hope.

Q: What would you say is the biggest misconception many women and health care providers believe about fertility and conception that is not true?

A: I think the biggest misconception that women and health care providers have is ignoring the influence of lifestyle in conception efforts. I have found that there is a large dependency on medications and/or supplements and not enough on wholesome diets, stress management, mental healing, and so on. I believe this is the reason so many women struggle with little success to conceive.

Q: Have you encountered any push-back from the medical community, or are they supportive of your efforts to help educate women regarding fertility and conception?

A: I have not experienced any push-back from the medical community. I am not expecting to, since my work does not replace their work. If anything, our work complements theirs. Most women who need medical solutions will benefit from the support the Institute gives in terms of stress management, natural diets, and exercises, among other things. I have had the support of a few doctors who understand what I am doing and know that women benefit from it.

Q: In your book you address fear and guilt. In your opinion, how prevalent are these feelings in women who have not been able to successfully carry a pregnancy to term? Is it a reflection of societal or personal issues?

A: Fear and guilt are very prevalent in women who have experienced pregnancy loss. There is the fear that they might never carry a baby to term and never have a baby. There is also the guilt that something they did or didn’t do contributed to the loss of their baby, since they were their baby’s primary caregivers.

In my opinion, the fear and guilt that many women after pregnancy loss experience is largely a reflection of their understanding that as a mother they feel responsible for their children. That is not a bad thing. Every mum feels this way. Most women would feel guilty if their children had an accident at home, even if it was clearly not their fault. The problem arises when the woman is not able to move on from that guilt and recognize that these problems are not their fault.

I think society can help women with this. The fact that women find it hard to talk about pregnancy loss exacerbates the fear and guilt. They can come to believe that something is really wrong with them and they just might be bad mums.

Q: What’s next for you, Bridget?

A: Simply to reach out to more women who can benefit from the New Eve Therapy Method. I am working on collaborating with more people to spread the message to every woman who has lost her pregnancy and let her know that she can still create the family she wants. I hope to do so by guest-posting, interviews like this one, seminars, and joint venture programs.

You can contact/reach Bridget at the following links:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/cheriemamma

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/the-cherie-mamma-institute

Website: www.cheriemamma.org

Twitter: @cheriemamma

Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/153974096X/

 

 

 

Bonded at Birth: An Adoptee’s Search for Her Roots

Bonded at Birth

“Our history begins before we are born,” wrote Scottish inventor James Nasmyth. “We represent the hereditary influences of our race, and our ancestors virtually live in us.” It’s a quote that aptly captures the popularity of genealogical quests but what if the paper trail goes only as far as a birth mother’s decision to leave her baby’s future in the hands of strangers and walk away, taking her own life story with her? In her poignant memoir, Bonded at Birth: An Adoptee’s Search for Her Roots, author Gloria Oren shares insights gleaned from 16 years of searching and 41 years apart.

Interviewer: Christina Hamlett

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Q: Where, when and how did your journey as a writer begin?

A: My journey as a writer began years ago. My first published piece was a poem in a camp newsletter. I seemed to be writing something all the time. It strengthened during the “Breaking Into Print” course.

Q: Do you feel that you chose this profession or that it chose you?

A: It sort of chose me. One day I received a piece of mail from Long Ridge Writers Group offering a writing test to qualify for one of their courses. I thought, why not, at the worst I won’t pass. I received the test, filled it out, and sent it back. I didn’t think I would pass or qualify. A few weeks later I got that piece of mail I didn’t think would come saying I qualified for the “Breaking into Print” course. It included the application. I applied and the rest is history. I owe a lot for the improvement of my writing to my instructor, Lori Soard.

Q: Your new book, Bonded at Birth: An Adoptee’s Search for Her Roots, just made its debut. What inspired you to put fingers to keyboard and bring this story to life?

A: What inspired me to write my story was the realization that adoptees do have the right to their own information regarding their origins and medical histories. I had almost no information to go on, yet things have a way of happening, and because of them and the help of others, I was found. I had to share my story with adult adoptees who wish to search but hesitate, adoptive parents confronted by their adopted child’s wish to search, and by birth parents who fear searching not wanting to intrude on their biological offspring’s life. It will also attract memoir readers who enjoy a unique story. And couples contemplating adoption will learn the damage that secrecy can lead to and, with hope, this book will ensure that they will be the ones to talk to their adopted children about their adoptions.

Q: Describe your book in seven words.

A: Interesting, unique, roller coaster, engaging, motivating, descriptive, and page-turner.

Q: What was the most challenging aspect of developing this project?

A: Oh gosh, mostly technology, but also sounding good on audio clips and creating professional looking videos. That is yet to come.

Q: Did you allow anyone to read it as a work in progress or make everyone wait until you had typed the final chapter?

A: I had many beta readers at various stages of development. Feedback has been great.

Q: In earlier generations, adoption records were kept sealed, often as a measure to keep both the birth parent and the adoptee from having their respective lives disrupted down the road. Today there seems to be a greater emphasis on literally making those records an open book and even including birth parents as part of the extended family. What are your thoughts on this shift in accessibility? If, for instance, an unwed mother gives up her baby in order to avoid personal scandal, is she now offered no legal protection if/when the adult child demands to know her identity?

A: Since not all states have opened adoption records, I would venture to say that unwed mothers are still given the option for sealing the records or opting for an open adoption where they will have connection with the child.

My thoughts on this after being raised surrounded by secrecy and post reunion being told by my mom that she was forced to sign the papers not even knowing what she was signing says that records should be accessible to the adoptee at age 18 and that secrecy has no place in their lives.

Q: Aside from medical considerations, is “curiosity” a substantive excuse to expose past secrets about parentage?

A: I suppose curiosity has a play in it, though it is a right the adoptee has to know his ancestral roots, where he came from, and if secrets get exposed at some point, so be it. In the end it usually works out well for many cases.

Q: What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t know before?

A: If you mean before my reunion, then I didn’t know I was related to Col. William Prescott or that my sixth great aunt was the first North American nun.

If you mean before I wrote the book, then I now know that I can do it and can also do the marketing as long as I take it step-by-step.

Q: Like many authors today, you chose to go the self-publishing route. What governed that decision and was the experience what you expected it to be?

A: I’ve queried over a hundred agents and though they all had something good to say and responded, no one accepted it for publication. I knew it had to get out there, and I was getting tired fishing for a hooked bait so I tried the self-publishing route.

Q: What did you like best about self-publishing?

A: What I liked best was that I could produce a product the way I wanted to. It was a learning process for me as well.

Q: What did you like least?

A: What I liked least is that I didn’t have a backup marketing setup in the route I chose, but I will get the ropes of the marketing side and will do the best I can for now. I hope to sell enough books to allow me to find some marketing help in the future if needed. As they say, the best form of marketing is word of mouth and for that, no training is needed. So please tell everyone you know who likes to read a good book to check Bonded at Birth out.

Q: Advice to other authors considering the DIY route?

A: Do your research and don’t give in. You will get bombarded with phone calls from self-publishers out to get your money. I got quotes from $1200 up to $4000. I reached out to someone who published many books on the self-publishing route and he connected me up to the gal who helped him. It cost a lot less, the work was completed in a timely manner and the finished product is beautiful.

Q: What are you doing to promote your work and which strategies are proving to be the most successful for you?

A: My book just came out on the 15th of this month (June 2016) so right now I’ve sent out some press releases, some tweets, announced it on Facebook, and word of mouth. I’ve been working on creating a marketing plan. I plan on doing a small scale launch party now and probably a two week long (or longer) virtual book tour in November to coincide with National Adoption Month.

Q: Bad reviews are a fact of life. What do you do when you get one?

A: Not everyone will like your writing. If most reviews are positive and good, one or a few are the needles in a haystack. Most of the time they won’t be seen and if seen I pretend I don’t see them. I don’t respond to bad reviews.

Q: Morning person or evening?

A: Morning. I’m usually up and at it between six or seven.

Q: Dogs or cats?

A: Definitely dogs. I’ve had a dog since I was six. My last dog was a Doberman-Australian Shepherd mix. She died several years ago. I’ve been searching for a non-shedding dog since but all the good ones I come across seem to slip right through the cracks and I haven’t had luck yet.

Q: Coffee or tea?

A: Both, though mostly tea.

Q: What would readers be the most surprised to learn about you?

A: On a trip to Sitka, Alaska, I visited a bear sanctuary and fed a bear apple slices.

Q: Describe yourself in five words.

A: Dependable, dedicated, helpful, creative, and caring.

Q: What is the oldest, weirdest or most sentimental item in your closet?

A: The most sentimental items in my closet are my children’s childhood blankets.

Q: If you could sit down at lunch with your favorite hero, who would it be and what would you most like to talk about?

A: Definitely Col. William Prescott of the Battle of Bunker Hill fame. I’ve always liked learning about him in school and thought he did some amazing things. After my reunion when I started genealogy research of my birth father’s family ancestral tree, I discovered that Col. William Prescott was my 1st cousin 7X removed. I would talk to him about his aunt, Sarah Prescott, who was my sixth great grandmother.

Q: Sent off to live on a deserted island (yet with all the necessities for survival), which three books would you want to have with you?

A: Foraging & Feasting: A Field Guide and Wild Food Cookbook so I would have something to eat; Making Shelter in the Wild so I could have someplace to sleep; and a Soduko booklet so I would have something to do.

Q: What do you do for fun when you’re not writing?

A: Let’s see, I like crocheting and needlepoint, paint by number, and lots of reading. I love doing genealogy research and trying to solve the puzzles brought upon by DNA matches. I’m also an avid Scrabble player but don’t get to play often. And when I have the opportunity, I love jigsaw puzzles.

Q: What’s next on your plate?

A: I am in the research state. There were seven elected presidents before George Washington. I want to learn more about them, about the duties of those elected presidents, and how they were elected. What else they did in their personal lives. Did they have families and who were they. What were those years like and how did events of daily life affect those men. I became interested in this when I heard it mentioned on the radio and when I asked around no one seemed to know anything about this. I don’t recall having learned about this in school.

Q: Where can readers learn more about you and your work?

A: I can be found online at the following places:

Facebook: Gloria Oren Writing Ventures
Facebook Group (women only):
Women Writers, Editors, Agents, and Publishers
Twitter:
http://twitter.com/gloriaoren
Google +: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+GloriaOren
Goodreads:  http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/2049009-gloria
Pinterest:  http://pinterest.com/gloriaoren/
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/gloriaoren

And of course, they can visit my website at http://gloriaoren.com.

I also have two blogs: Gloria’s Corner http://gloriascorner.com and Family Links Matter http://familylinks.blog.com/ http://

Q: Anything else you’d like to add?

A: If you do have a chance to read Bonded at Birth, it would be greatly appreciated if you took a minute to post a review on Amazon. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It is available at https://www.amazon.com/Bonded-Birth-Adoptees-Search-Roots/dp/0692722289

 

 

 

A Chat with Rachel McGrath

Rachel McGrath

Interviewing Rachel McGrath (http://rachelmcgrath.net/) has truly been a pleasure. Deeply introspective, Rachel isn’t afraid to share the most difficult moments of her life with her readers. Not only does she write for herself, but she writes in order to connect with others who share her experiences. Then there are her children’s books, which are delightful romps that will enchant children of various ages. A talented storyteller with a formidable heart, I’m pleased to welcome Rachel and introduce her to our global village of readers!

Interviewed by Debbie A. McClure

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Q: In Finding The Rainbow ( http://www.amazon.ca/Finding-Rainbow-Rachel-McGrath/dp/1784650447/ref=sr_1_2?tag=geolinkerca-20&ie=UTF8), you talk about the heartache and trials of dealing with infertility and miscarriage. What feedback from readers have you received that has resonated the most with you?

A: The best feedback has been around the core message within Finding the Rainbow; the prevalence of hope.  I have had feedback from people who have had similar challenges, and those who have never had to face such struggles, and it has been wonderful to hear that it is a story that many felt they could connect with and understand, regardless of their own experiences.  That is truly what I had hoped. I did not want this to be a story of misery and pain, but to give a message of courage and strength; of always looking to the future to a new day, a new rainbow.

Q: What is the message you most want to convey to readers of Finding The Rainbow?

A: Many women have had to deal with miscarriage or infertility, and it is a really lonely place when you are going through that pain. I wanted to convey that it should not be a lonely place, and that there are so many people who can help, love and support you through the pain. Above it all, whilst it is an all-consuming journey, there is a path we all must follow, and that path is never clear. Some of us will reach our destination, others will need to find a different route, but we choose the path that defines our happy ending, regardless of whether it was the ending we had first hoped for.

Q: Rachel, you’ve also written several children’s books, including Mud On Your Face (http://www.amazon.ca/Mud-your-Face-Rachel-McGrath-ebook/dp/B015JPAIZ2/ref=sr_1_1?tag=geolinkerca-20&ie=UTF8), which is very different from the non-fiction genre of some of your other works. Which do you find more difficult to write and why?

A: Great question! I actually wrote Mud on your Face a few years ago, and I’ve always enjoyed writing fantasy and fiction. That is where my true storytelling nature comes into play. However, Finding the Rainbow, my memoir, was the book that made me a writer! I truly enjoyed writing it, but it was tough letting it go, opening it up to the public and exposing myself. I guess the fiction and fantasy stories are easier, as you can hide yourself behind them, rather than throwing yourself out for all to read.  I don’t regret either, but I’m certainly more comfortable with fiction.

Q: There are many challenges to indie (independent), or self-publishing. What has been the most difficult thing to learn and implement in your own journey to becoming a published writer?

A: Kindle!  Uploading onto Kindle and especially children’s books with illustrations. This in itself took longer than actually writing the book! It was completely frustrating for a very long time, and I could have paid someone to do it, but the stubborn side of me wanted to learn the process myself, and I wanted to get it right.

Q: You aren’t afraid to go deep inside yourself and share your struggles and sorrows with readers. What have you learned about yourself since beginning this journey of writing?

A: Getting my book published has given me confidence in my writing, and it has also provided some amazing new connections through a community of writers that I never knew had existed. I have always dreamed of being published, and whilst the topic of my first book is not one I would wish on anyone, it has given me a different path. I guess what I am saying, is that out of one challenge, I have found a way of channelling the pain and frustration into something that hopefully connects with people. I had to be honest, open and completely transparent in my book, Finding the Rainbow, and through that, and it has re-inspired my passion to write.

Q: What has been the most surprising thing you’ve learned about the business of writing since you began?

A: I’ve learned that the writing industry and the talent across the independent author network is incredibly vast. It has truly amazed me. On top of that, in the world of writing itself, the connections I have made and the pure generosity and friendship I have found in so many authors I have met through different social media groups, yet have never met has amazed me.

Q: Who has been your greatest mentor, either in life or in writing, and why?

A: I have many mentors in my life, but I would like to say that it is my parents who have always stood behind my dreams, no matter what. They have never stopped believing in my abilities and ambitions, and even when it meant leaving the country and living on the other side of the world, they have always supported me.

Q: What advice would you give to new writers who are considering self-publishing their work?

A: Self-publishing is easy, but getting your product right is really difficult. There is editing, cover design, formatting, pricing and then marketing!  My advice is do your research and spend the time getting the formatting and editing right, because reviews are everything and readers can be tough critics (as they ought to be). Cover design is so very important; it needs to be catchy, relevant and professional. I’m no expert but I love to read, and when something is not formatted, has bad editing or an unappealing cover, it really throws me off, despite everything else. Whilst it is frustrating and sometimes if you don’t have the expertise, costly, it is worth it in the long run to make the investment in your pride and joy.

Q: What mistakes have you made along the way that you’d like to help other writers avoid?

A: My biggest piece of advice is don’t get impatient. As a writer you get so excited about your work, and getting it out there, and with the mediums available for self publishing it is so easy to publish something on Amazon.  My biggest mistake was with my first children’s storybook – Wonderful World of Willow (http://www.amazon.com/Wonderful-World-Willow-Coco-Book-ebook/dp/B016J6WVH8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1449850911&sr=8-2&keywords=rachel+mcgrath).  I had not yet navigated the Kindle format for children’s books, and unfortunately when it did release, the layout was terrible!  I had to quickly take it offline, and then I must have spent at least a few weeks struggling with the technology and technical specification before it was ready again. Whilst I was lucky and not many had purchased it in those few hours it was live, it is still embarrassing.  I have learned through this to just stop, slow down, and make sure that it is perfect to your own standards, before giving it to your audience.  A week or two wait will save you so much embarrassment in the long run!

Q: Can you tell us a little bit about what you do in addition to writing?

A: I still work full time in a busy Human Resources role with a global company. I have always wanted to write, but I’m a realist, too. Writing is not a ‘money making’ business, it is a passion and an art, and whilst I would love to just focus on writing, I never want to depend on it, feel like I have to do it. I want to always love it!

Q: Was there anything you’ve done career-wise that prepared you for taking on the massive learning curve and realities of writing?

A: I think life has lent me much of the learning I needed. I always wanted to write from my early teens, but had I finished a project back then, I know it would not have been the same work that I produce today. I now have life experiences, I have travelled, been hurt, I have hurt, and I have learned so much along the way.  Everything I put into my writing is me and my emotions, and whilst it is not all a memoir, it is how I view the world today.

The other piece to writing is knowing yourself, and being confident to share who you are. Again, it is the fact that I am entirely comfortable with who I am today, which I know was not the case in my twenties.  Readers want to know the writer behind the book, and I feel that today, I am able to provide that transparency.

Q: What are your thoughts on the future of e-books or print?

A: To be honest, I have only just converted to Kindle. I still love the paperback, and I love the fact that you can have a bookcase filled with your favourite books, on display for all to see. Having said that, having a Kindle is so much better if you are travelling and for the general convenience of having your book on hand at any times you need it.  This question is a tough one for me, as I still buy a paperback when I really love the book.  I guess it is a symbol or trophy of having read something that truly touched my heart!

Q: In Unfinished Chapters ( http://www.amazon.com/Unfinished-Chapters-Christina-Hamlett/dp/1517317975/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1449851381&sr=8-5&keywords=rachel+mcgrath_) you wrote about an event that happened wherein you reflect upon a friendship that ended poorly. What did you learn from that experience, and why did you want to share it with readers?

A: This friendship was a very important one for me. I was quite shy as a child, and my holidays were always quiet, as I didn’t often have a large social network when I was very young. But my friend who came every holiday was something I looked forward to, and our friendship was genuine, despite our differences. Whilst perhaps I knew our differences may one day push us apart, when it did happen, I felt it was more my own insecurities than the friendship itself. That stuck with me. I learned from it with future friendships, but I could never change that one experience. Writing about it was perhaps my way of closing that chapter, something that has felt unfinished for a very long time.

Q: What’s next for you, Rachel?

A: I have just finished and published a book of short stories – Dark & Twisty ( http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Twisty-Anthology-Rachel-McGrath-ebook/dp/B017ZIA5UE/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1449851381&sr=8-3&keywords=rachel+mcgrath), of which all profits are being donated to Worldwide Cancer Research (http://www.worldwidecancerresearch.org).  This was a project from the heart, and I wanted to dedicate something to  my father and my aunty who are both fighting cancer.

Other than that, I hope to have a children’s novel finished in early 2016, another story aimed at the seven to eleven year old age group.

I truly enjoy writing and I have so many stories inside me, so I will continue to work on new stories and hopefully they will reach the audience I am hoping for.

Thank you again for this great opportunity!

You can find out more about Rachel and connect with her here:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/RJG27

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rachelmcgrathauthor/?ref=hl

Website: www.rachelmcgrath.net

Blog: www.findingtherainbow.net (the site linked to my memoir)

GooglePlus: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+RachelMcGrathAuthor/posts

 

 

 

 

Bucket List Living For Moms: Become a More Adventurous Parent

BucketListCoverHiRes_(1)

I’m so pleased to welcome the author of Bucket List Living for Moms: Become a More Adventurous Parent, Lara Krupicka! I’m a huge believer in “bucket lists” and was so pleased to be asked to interview Lara and learn more about this intrepid writer, journalist, and mother. Welcome Lara.

Interviewer: Debbie McClure

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Q What’s so special about bucket lists?

A bucket list is a non-threatening way to think through what exhilarates you and which aspects of exploration and adventure are most appealing to you. Not everyone’s list is going to be the same. Different things interest each of us, which makes creating a bucket list an exercise in self-exploration. Then acting on those goals can take our lives in so many different directions.

Plus, it can be powerful to talk about bucket list longings with those we love. When everyone is encouraged to be vulnerable and honest, it can be eye-opening to learn what those around us really want to do and see in life. That knowledge gives us opportunities to bring encouragement and support to our family and friends. There are plenty of relational benefits to creating, sharing, and accomplishing bucket lists with others.

Q Why a book like this for moms in particular?

In a family, Mom usually comes last, to the point that many of us end up sacrificing our own identities in service of our spouses and children. We no longer remember what we like to do for ourselves – for enjoyment or self-improvement. The overall homogeneity of modern moms (irrespective of actual parenting practices) is troublesome. So I wrote this book as a guide for helping moms get ideas on how to uniquely care for themselves, to model for their kids the importance of continuing to go after your dreams, and as a means to prioritize their goals for spending what time they have to invest in themselves.

Q Don’t moms have enough to do these days without adding in a bucket list to worry about?

It’s true. Moms today are very busy. But with most of their time and attention going toward their children, I think every mom deserves a bucket list of goals they look forward to completing. A list prepared with care will be motivating instead of anxiety-producing and will be individualized enough to skirt the competitiveness that often sneaks into the realm of motherhood. Not only can it be invigorating and refreshing for a mom to complete a bucket list goal, but also the benefits extend out to her family and her relationship with her kids. In other words, a good bucket list should be a life enhancer, not a stressor.

Q What was the personal or professional lesson it took you the longest time to learn, and why?

It took me a long time to learn that my words matter. I blogged for a few years and had very few readers, which was frustrating, but not unexpected. Somehow I assumed that no one would want to read what I was writing. And yet I kept on writing because I could not keep from sharing my stories. Even after a number of my articles were published, I still did not think I had anything worthwhile to say. Part of the reason I took so many years to get into writing was because of that self doubt. Finally I decided that maybe my experiences weren’t so boring or unique. I still have a tendency to stick to “safe” subjects, but my writing is much more self-assured. I am thankful for the readers who have chimed in to say how my stories put their experiences into words or how my writing has encouraged them or helped them in some way. That knowledge – that my words do matter and can make a difference in the world – has given more depth and meaning to my work. I am so glad I learned that lesson.

Q What about bucket lists for dads, kids, or other people?

Family is a great setting for living out your life longings. Dads tend to be a little clearer about their goals in life for the most part, but even still every dad should create their own bucket list. Kids, because of their natural curiosity about the world, have lists of things they want to do (learn how to skateboard, be tall enough to ride a rollercoaster, etc). They just do not formalize them as bucket lists – and why would they when “kicking the bucket” is far from being top of mind for them? Again, I would still encourage kids (and really anyone) to write those down. If nothing else, writing down your dreams makes them more likely to happen.

I am also a big advocate for the family bucket list – a list of things a family wants to do together before the children are grown. It is a great tool for being intentional about our family identity and making the most of those 18 or so years.

Q Couldn’t people make a bucket list without having to read a book?

Absolutely. In fact, I think all of us already have a bucket list of some sort. The problem is that most of the time it exists in our heads and we don’t act on it very often. Plus, the common concept of a bucket list tends to limit us to considering only travel goals. But a fulfilling list is more than that. In both of my books, Family Bucket Lists and Bucket List Living For Moms, I encourage readers to think through their dreams and hopes across their life and across a variety of categories. The result is they have articulated their deepest longings and pinpointed long and short-term goals; goals that are easy to achieve and those that will take years, along with goals that they would like to accomplish with other people.

Q So, was being a writer on your bucket list?

It was! I decided when I was about 6 or 8 years old (once I could formulate my own stories on paper), that I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I took a few detours along the way, but never forgot that dream. And now here I am – living it!

Q How does that work – being a writer and a mom?

Like any working mom, I can‘t say that it balances perfectly. But writing in particular lends itself to fitting in the gaps of family life. Most days I write and take care of work details while my children are at school. Many times that bleeds over to dinnertime. Yet I am also free when my kids need me, like for volunteering at school or taking them to appointments and activities.

Q Who would you say was your greatest mentor, and why?

I have been so, so fortunate to have some wonderful mentors in my life. As a writing mom, I have to say Christina Katz has been a great mentor and coach. She has helped me hone my skills and sort through what I have to say that will have the most impact. Under her tutelage I have gone from being a hopeful writer to professional journalist. What makes her such a great mentor is that she never stops pushing me to do better, to take the next step. She is incredibly observant. Christina can often see before I can what aspect of my life needs to be poured onto the page to help others. And she is so practical with her advice.

Q I suppose as a bucket list expert you have plenty of opportunities to live out your life dreams. Tell us what that’s like for you.

I am an ordinary mom, with kids to feed and clothe, and a job to fulfill. Nobody is footing the bills for my adventures. But I have come to believe so strongly in the importance of doing what matters most, that it seems someone in our family is checking off a bucket list goal almost every month. The biggest reason for that is awareness. I am much more open to spotting opportunities to achieve goals – big and small. And I have my family in a mindset to jump on those opportunities as often as we can, which is a big deal. I learned the hard way that hesitating doesn’t help. It also doesn’t help to not be clear in communicating your desires. Our bucket lists have given us a tool to communicate better.

Again, we are not out scaling mountains or traveling the world. With our family’s temperament, we could not handle that pace. Instead, most of our days are pretty ordinary.

We just do not let too much time go by between trying new experiences. And we don’t try to cram it all into school breaks and summer vacation. I find there are so many great adventures we can have right at home, that we don’t need to put everything off to vacation time.

Q As a writer, what advice would you give to new writers who are coming up the ladder?

Stick with it. Keep on writing. That blog you write may not get many visitors, but it may be honing your voice. Your first novel may get rejected over and over. But your second might be a big hit. The learning curve in the world of publishing is a long, steep one so you have to be committed for the long haul. And don’t buy into the scarcity mindset – that someone else’s success in writing comes at your expense. Be supportive of other writers and you can build the kind of camaraderie that will sustain you along the path to becoming a published writer.

Q From your own bucket list, what is the biggest goal or your most favourite goal that you have left to accomplish?

I cannot wait to spend time in the Tuscany region of Italy. Everything I have seen and heard about it sounds ideal in so many ways – the scenery, the food, the history. I have been studying Italian on the side and watching as many movies filmed in the region as I can find. At some point I want to read up on Italian history. It may be a long time before I get there, so I want to be prepared to make the most of every minute I will have once it arrives.

 

Thank you Lara! For more information about Lara and where to connect with her, click on the following links:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/amusingmom

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Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1045860.Lara.Krupicka